by Jeffrey O'Brien
Sometimes I do a day’s worth of thinking in one second
Like when our eyes meet and too many
Words like painted flies hang in the air and I don’t
dare reach out and grab one for fear of shattering something because I’m frozen
but I don’t want to move
and this is probably the most exciting part of my day
so it’s okay
I don’t say anything
I just smile a little but
not too much
and think about my hair and my shirt and the bag of
Cuties my talon fingers grasp
because they’re in season and they’re big and they’re ripe and they’re heavier than I expected and I’d be managing fine
if it weren’t for the case of Rolling Rock in my other hand and I think of all the real people buying real food and I’m
standing here with shitty but not too shitty beer and a bag of mini oranges thinking “this will feed me for a week”
but then there were the donuts that I passed
dressed up and festive on that display table
or the brands of frozen pizzas that all cost the same
and I really wish I had just grabbed the cart
because the weight isn’t the problem
but my awkward grip and I can feel them slipping
so I clench my pink and white knuckles even tighter
because if I drop them in front of her then I’ll be mortified unless we can both share the awkward moment
by laughing at my clumsiness which wouldn’t be
so bad but then I’d have to go back and get more
because these would be bruised and then
nobody would want them and they would
sit on the shelf until they turn brown.
But you smile back
and give that half-hearted nod
which is really all I could have hoped for
and we both keep walking without breaking stride or
thinking twice.
♠
